Howl (Howl Book 1) Read online

  I growled in spite.

  "I wish I could go."

  Neither of the guys beside me replied, but I didn't care. It didn't matter.

  Then, Cassiel jabbed me in the ribs. I swung around, to yell at him, but stopped before I started when I saw the look in his eyes. I followed his gaze and saw Alexander watching us.

  He was looking at us from over his shoulder.

  Cassiel and I waved to him.

  He grinned back at us. His eyes were full of determination and pride. He sent us one wave before leading the pack into the woods.

  The pack ran after him. They ran through the brush, around the trees, and were soon invisible to me. I leaned onto Cassiel and he held onto me. I could tell that both of us were close to a break down.

  "I'll start dinner." Gabriel, with his beer to his lips, stood.

  I barely noticed him walk around Cassie and I and up into my house.

  My eyes were glued on the last place I saw my pack, my family.

  "Do you want to watch a movie?" Cassiel asked quietly, as if he were afraid something would happen if he broke the silence. "Maybe we could get Gabriel to watch Blood and Chocolate with us." His voice wasn't fully mature, but was still deeper than most teenage boy's. "It's the most authentic werewolf movie I can find."

  I stood up and he followed me, probably thinking that I had just accepted his offer.

  "I'm going on a run."

  I jumped over the remaining steps and jogged through half the lawn before I heard Cassiel protest "Is that really such a good idea? The pack just left."

  "I'll be back before dark."

  With that I took off into the woods, opposite where the pack had gone, and let my dormant wolf side take over.

  I lifted my head and howled as I ran. I pushed myself so hard; thinking that the faster I ran the most likely my pain was to go away.

  Chapter Two

  Heavy rain fell through the cracks in-between the branches and poured onto me. Beads of water ran down my body, mixing with sweat, and seeped into my clothes until they were pulling me down.

  I couldn't stop, though.

  My chest was heaving and my breath was completely uneven, but I couldn't stop. I had to keep pushing myself forward. I pumped my arms, pushed deeper into the ground beneath my feet, and leapt over any obstacle in my way.

  Tears burned my eyes and felt hot against my flushed cheeks, but I barely noticed. All I could think about was moving. I had to keep going. The need was unbearable and it seemed the further I went the stronger the feeling became.

  It had started raining about an hour before. First there were only soft drizzles that caressed my cheek. After the first roar of thunder rain poured from the violent dark clouds that were draped over the forest.

  Finally I came to a familiar place. The river was wide and deep and looked completely inviting as I slowed to a stop at its ledge. The water was clear and clean and looked cold, which was what my body was begging for.

  This river held lots of memories. It had to be my most visited places in our territory. Most of the pack and I spent a lot of hot summer days swimming in this river. The image of me wading in the water with the pack surrounding me flooded into my head. Things were so much easier back then.

  I closed my eyes and shook my head angrily to rid myself of those memories.

  I backed up a few steps before taking a running start over the water. I made it half way before I grabbed onto the semi think tree branch that formed a barrier in-between the long distance.

  After a few swings I leapt onto the other ledge.

  The mud kept me from going full speed, but it didn't really matter. I pushed myself as fast as I could go, under the circumstances, and just ran away from everything.

  I ran away from the fact that the entire pack left me. I ran away from the fact that my parents didn't believe I was anything but their baby girl. And I ran from the fact that I was their baby girl. I was still a child in their eyes and in the laws of the pack.

  The clouds above me grew more violent, but I barely paid attention. It was almost like the thunder was pushing me even further.

  But soon there wasn't any where else to run. I found myself breaking through the brush and into town. I was right outside the river Severn, which was about nineteen miles away from where most of the pack and I lived.

  I took a few deep breaths and slowed my pace to a walk when I got to the bridge. I walked across it with my eyes watching the river beneath my feet. The railing was gritty, but I ran my hand over it anyway.

  Then I just aimlessly walked down the streets. I knew the town and most of the people knew me.

  I shoved my hands into the limited warmth of my sweatshirt pouch and dragged my feet. I bowed my head in thought.

  The rain grew colder as the wind picked up and the rain turned to hail. Each stone like raindrop bounced of the pavement and off me.

  "Elaine?"

  My head snapped around at the familiar male voice. I scanned the streets until I found Pavel standing under the protection of a porch roof. He was leaning over the railing, so the rain caught the top of his hair. I noticed that his eyes were narrowed at me.

  "What are you doing all the way out here?" His tone was disapproving.

  I grumbled, "Just getting some air."

  "You know, that's always what you say when you're lying." Pavel yelled across the street. "Get in here before you catch a cold!"

  Pavel was Nathaniel's youngest son, although you'd never guess that he had only gone through his change three years before. He was a very put together young man. He knew his responsibilities and did whatever he could to make his father proud.

  I often disapproved of the way Nathaniel handled things. Pavel was such a great guy and wanted nothing more than to prove himself, but Nathaniel barely took notice unless he was forced to.

  Vladimir, or Vlad, was the eldest of Nathan's kids. He lived in the Americas doing a job for the Luperco. I had no idea what he did, but he often joked that he was part of international intelligence. Although, most of the time I wondered if that really was just a joke or not.

  He didn't come home often and didn't phone unless there was an emergency. I frequently called them the barer of bad news because whenever he called, a disaster was close behind.

  Then there was Sebastian. He was definitely something and I often wondered if he was Nathaniel's son or Gabriel's because of their similar black hair and attitude towards anyone who wasn't their alpha. He was around Gabriel's age, maybe a little younger, and still hadn't gotten out of his teenage rebellious years. The last I heard, which was only a few weeks ago, he was backpacking across Europe with his possessions strapped to his back and a cell phone, which he mostly had switched off, in his back pocket.

  Nathaniel had his three sons with three different women. He had chosen to have humans mate. His first wife died of a disease that was common during the era. His second killed herself when she grew old while Nathaniel never seemed to age a day. Nathan's third wife was a mystery. All I knew was that she was still alive and that Pavel hated her.

  I huffed at Pavel's command, but ran across the otherwise vacant street anyway. It wasn't like I had anywhere else to go.

  I jogged up the seven or so steps and saw that Pavel was already standing at the door. Something about his facial expression bothered me. He looked very serious.

  Pavel, who was raised a gentleman, opened the door for me and I was immediately greeted by the warmth and smell of a fireplace.

  The smell of wood burning made me warm from my head to my toes and I instantly felt at home in the small, yet comfortable, home.

  I glanced back at Pavel when he shut the door and saw him making a motion to my sweater with his hand. I rolled my eyes and pulled it off. It was heavier than five pounds because of all the water that had soaked into it and I felt way lighter once it was off.

  Pavel took it from me and left the room.

  I waited, knowing that he'd be right back.

  His absence
gave me the time to realize that I didn't know whose house I was in. I frowned, in thought, and began scanning the walls for some kind of photograph or clue.

  The pattern on the wallpaper was lavender flowers and accompanied with the scenery pictures that hung on the wall, it made the house sing of a woman's touch.

  I slowly turned, drinking in the house, and my gaze dropped to the table sitting unnoticeable in the corner beside the door. There was a spare change bowl, along with a set of keys, and a small white picture frame. Inside it were three heart shaped faces and blond heads of hair.

  I instantly knew who they were.

  "Lily?" I turned on my heel, determined to find the 21 year old human and her daughter, "Claire?"

  I heard the four year old before I saw her. Her footsteps sounded from upstairs and I heard them pounding down the stairs in the kitchen. I cautiously followed the sound, knowing that the little girl was full of energy and would most likely take me off guard.

  "Eli's here!" Claire girlishly screamed in excitement from somewhere on the other side of the house. I started laughing. Claire was the only one I knew who called me that. It all started when she was two, and I was babysitting, and she was having trouble with stretching out her A's. To solve the problem I told her to call me El, like a lot of the packmates had taken to calling me.

  However, that didn't sit well with her, and she made a new nickname for me.

  She was the only one I ever let call me that.

  Then, as soon as I reached the end of the hall I saw a blur of long golden locks and pink. Before I could move she barreled right into my stomach.

  I huffed as the air escaped my lungs, and barely escaped pivoting to the floor by grabbing hold of the doorframe.

  "Mommy," Claire yelled, "Eli's here!"

  I twirled her around in a hug and that sent Claire into a fit of giggles.

  "Hey, Claire, how are you?" I sat her back down and knelt down so I was at eye level with her. I knew that, even at the young age of four, kids appreciated being treated as equals with adults.

  Her lips twitched before a large grin spread over her angelic face, "Great! Mom is making brownies."

  "Then I got here just in time." I stated with a smile of my own.

  Claire nodded hastily and wrapped her delicate hand around mine, "Let's go."

  I heard footsteps behind us as I let Claire lead me through the living room and into another small hall. I glanced back and saw Pavel. He looked solemn. I made a mental note to ask him about it later.

  "Mommy, Eli's here." Claire announced again as we stepped into the kitchen.

  The warm and delicious smell of chocolate filled my senses and my mouth watered.

  Lily was standing with her back to us. She had on a waist apron and oven mitts in both hands. Her hair was up in a sloppy bun.

  "Hold on honey." She bent down as she pushed down the oven door.

  The room grew warm and I sighed in contentment.

  "The smell of warm chocolate will melt the coldest of hearts." Pavel mumbled behind me.

  I laughed, "So, will the taste."

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the older young man nod his head in agreement.

  When Lily turned around, with a pan of moist brownies her hands, her eyes locked with mine. I was overwhelmed with the emotions over her face and tears sprung to my eyes.

  She looked hurt, betrayed, confused, lost, and I wanted nothing more than to hit and hurt whoever made her feel that way.

  "I love the house, Lily." I decided to break the ice instead… at least for the time being.

  Lily's eyes went wide and her face grew more flushed, "Oh my god, that's right. This is the first time you been to see us since the move."

  I shook my head sadly and my smile suddenly died down.

  About three months ago Lily's husband, and a packmate of mine, Nicholas, was killed in the line of duty. He had taken a blow to the throat, while in wolf form, and wasn't able to heal himself because of the mass of other wounds he had gained.

  I remembered when we found out. Lily and Claire had still been living with the pack outside of town, and we were outside sipping lemonade as we watched the pups play. A member of the Luperco, David, I believed, ran up to us.

  Lily broke down instantly. Her tear stained face still pained me. But it took Claire a lot longer to realize that her daddy wasn't coming back. When it had finally sunk in I was the first to know. I had invited Lily and Claire to stay with me and my house while the pack was still away. I didn't want them to be alone, and I didn't really want to be either.

  One night my door creaked open and the little girl I loved so much crawled in. Her eyes were red and puffy and lines of tears outlined her rosy cheeks.

  She had spent the rest of the night with me flipping through albums.

  It hadn't been a good time for any of us.

  "How are you doing?" I cautiously asked.

  After the shock wore off Lily didn't want anything to do with the pack anymore. She never wanted to see another werewolf again. So she took her savings and Claire, and they packed up and moved.

  I had known that they only moved into town, but I hadn't come to visit.

  I didn't know if I was allowed to, or if she even wanted me to.

  "This isn't one of my better days." Lily confessed after a few moments of hesitation.

  I nodded. I wanted to know more, but I knew better than to come straight out and ask.

  "Claire, would you mind going upstairs to play?" Lily set down the tray of treats on the island and leaned against the counter top as she pulled off her mitts. She looked worn out and I fought the urge to go over and give her a hug.

  Claire's grip on my hand tightened, "Eli just got here." Her lip stuck out in a pout.

  I knelt back down so I was sitting on my knee. "I'll come up later and we can have tea together, okay?"

  She took a second to think it over. I could practically see the wheels spinning in her head.

  "Okay." She nodded her head happily. Then, with a bounce in her step, she walked across the small kitchen and went up the stairs.

  Once she was out of sight I turned back to Lily. I took in her swollen eyes, her furrowed brows, and the look on Pavel's face as confirmation that something bad was going on.

  "What did you do?" I instantly whirled around to yell at Pavel.

  He narrowed his eyes at me, but not necessarily in an angry way. "Why do you always assume that it's the guys that are doing something wrong?"

  "Probably for the same reason that you guys are always assuming that I'm up to something." I snapped back.

  "Why, don't I make us all some tea?" Lily asked from behind the safety of her island.

  I gritted my teeth and gave Pavel a warning look before turning to Lily. "That sounds good."

  It only took a few minutes and then all three of us were sitting in Lily's living room. The sofas were soft and worn, and I could see about ten more pictures of her and Nick all over the room. Some of Claire's handy work was framed and hung along the walls. And I even saw a place where Claire had written her name into one of the baseboards. I took a second to wonder if Lily was aware of that, though I'd never rat Claire out. There are quite a few places, not only in my house, where my name is written.

  "Pavel, what are you doing here?" I asked once we had all taken our seats.

  "Alex asked me to come before he left."

  "Your alpha doesn't seem to think that living in town is safe for Claire or me." Lily interjected bitterly.

  I winced when she said your alpha. It was a brutal reminder that Lily had rejected the pack and no longer saw herself as part of us.

  Pavel, who was sitting beside me, sighed, "He just wants both of you to be cared for and watched over, especially with the war."

  "This war has been going on forever. Before I met any of you I was perfectly safe from it all and Claire and I will be safe again without you." Lily held her ground, and I was privately very proud of her.

  But I was also s
ad. I would love for Lily and Claire to move back with the pack.

  "The battles are coming closer to our territory everyday, Lillian." Pavel continued, "What would happen if a fight struck out right outside your house? How would you be able to stop a wolf from coming into your home?"

  Lily bit down on her lip.

  I noticed that her tea cup was shaking in her hands, "Pavel, I doubt the pack would let a fight come that close to humans."

  "But what if it does?" Pavel shot me a look that said back off. Whose side are you on?

  "I'm just not ready to come back. I don't know if I ever will be." Lily told us just above a whisper. Every part of her was shaking, her hands to her voice.

  I saw Pavel start to open his mouth and I laid my hand over his knee. He glanced over at me and I lightly shook my head.

  Lily obviously wasn't up to discussing this, and I didn't want to put her through more than she had already gone through.

  Pavel looked reluctant, but silently agreed to shut up.

  "I think I'll go finish my tea with Claire. Then I have to go." I looked past Lily and saw the light beginning to disappear through the clouds. I sighed; if I had to run I'd be later than I promised Cassiel I would be.

  I pushed all my problems aside and put on a smile as I went up the stairs to where Claire was waiting for me.

  CL

  I stood up from the tiny plastic chair with a silent groan. I had forgotten how hard it was to get out of those things.

  Claire stood with more grace than I could manage. Her eyes were downcast to the floor and she seemed to be playing with her thumbs out of the need to do something other than just standing.

  "Thank you for the tea, Miss Claire." I smiled at her, trying to get her smile the reenter her features.

  She sighed, "When will you come back?"

  I sighed and kneeled down in front of her. "Soon," I cupped her chin and made her look into my eyes.

  Out of submission, something that obviously had stuck in her mannerisms, she looked away seconds later.

  "Tomorrow?"

  I managed to give her a tight smile, "I don't know. But I promise that I'll come next weekend."

  The little girl nodded and clutched my hand in hers.